Eight tactics to help caregivers deal with a toxic aging parent. Any type of silent treatment is not healthy and should be addressed, communicated, and resolved as soon as possible. Older parents who give their children the silent treatment have a problem with themselves and may even have difficulty dealing with loneliness. Caring for a toxic, critical, or abusive parent can cause difficult emotions, make it difficult for parents to care for, and at the same time worsen many stressors that already stem from providing care.
Setting boundaries with difficult aging parents won't fix everything. Even so, it can help you stay resilient in the face of toxic situations and behaviors. Here are some tips to help you. Giving ultimatums will only make them stand up, and shouting, arguing, closing doors, etc.
could seriously damage the relationship. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Marriage and Family Therapy Association (AAMFT) and a member of the International Federation of Coaches (ICF). As your parents age, their needs will increase and you may not be able to provide them with the same level of care. Patience and persistence go a long way in making conversations productive when it comes to aging parents.
If you've had a toxic childhood, it can be difficult to unlearn the lessons the experience has taught you. If a sick, aging parent has always been controlling and manipulative (in other words, toxic), that's unlikely to change. If you recognize some of these toxic traits in your parents, there are ways to cope with them. When possible, take advantage of temporary care solutions so that you can take a break from your caregiver role and return to it with a fresh perspective.
It's not that I'm holding you responsible for all the toxic behavior, it's that being kind can sometimes cure these types of situations. As with anything related to dementia, focus on working with your loved one's doctor to determine what could be causing the shower resistance. Moshe Ratson is the executive director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a training and therapy clinic in New York City. Caring for a dysfunctional parent with increasingly difficult, toxic, and even abusive behavior is a difficult situation for any family caregiver.
If your loved one has dementia, creating a drawer or box full of small items can often reduce the need to accumulate items. We have all heard about toxic parents and the influence they have on their children, whether they are young, teenagers or adults.
