Accept the situation; don't beat yourself up. It's hard to see your loved one dealing with the challenges caused by aging, especially if they're not receptive to them. It's hard to see your loved one dealing with the challenges caused by aging, especially if they aren't willing to get help. However, you can only convince and beg to a certain extent to change your mind or to explore new options.
Work with your own counselor or support group to accept the situation as it is and to know what you can't change (and what can change). It is best for family caregivers (and paid home caregivers) to learn better techniques for managing behavior related to dementia and strategies for coping with dementia. I'm afraid there's no point in trying to reason with her and “correct her behavior”, since that just doesn't work with people with cognitive problems. But there are other approaches that can help, most of which begin with accepting the reality of the person with a disability.
But at those ages and with conditions, older people are sensitive. Look at what Covid has done to older people. Ironically, my dad contracted Covid in the hospital, but he quickly overcame it. Try to have authentic conversations in which you share things about your life, so they can understand your limitations.
Try to combat their negativity by asking them for suggestions on how to improve it. It's very difficult to deal with a difficult elderly parent. It's easier if you have help and support. This can be one-off help and care, such as regular visits from other friends and family or a cleaning person, or it can be more structured help, such as that of caregivers.
If your parents have only started to be mean since they had dementia or some other illness that affects their personality, you'll need a different approach. Try talking to your GP about medications or seeking additional care and support for your mother. But if your mother is just in a bad mood, here are some steps you can take to help manage the situation. Lesley provides personalized help to people who are struggling to cope with the “emotional roller coaster” of caring for the elderly or balancing care with a busy career. Whether it's a parent asking for more help than you can reasonably give or one who is constantly looking for excuses to cross established boundaries, clear and direct communication will be key to reaching a peaceful resolution.
Dealing from time to time with demanding elderly parents and their needs comes naturally, but that doesn't mean it's any less difficult for caregivers, who are still learning to adapt. However, manipulative elderly parents often make requests or even demands that just don't work for you. As with everything related to dementia, focus on working with your loved one's doctor to determine what could be causing the resistance to showering. Here are some helpful tips on how to manage these conversations with your struggling elderly parents.
Elder abuse to varying degrees, especially those with dementia, is much more common than we expected. Giving in on an issue will only encourage manipulative elderly parents to keep pushing your limits to see how else they can make you commit. As an elder care counselor, I am often asked what the most common problems are among adult children of elderly parents. In this post, we'll explore tips on how to deal with a difficult aging parent and what to do if that difficult elderly parent's behavior continues to increase.
It explains how to treat a patient with dementia who refuses to visit angels and only wants his children to take care of him. Often, when children of manipulative elderly parents try to set boundaries, they are met with resistance or open hostility. Dealing with aging parents can also be frustrating, especially if they refuse your help or advice. This will make you stronger and better prepared to deal with the resistance faced by difficult parents.
